As much as it sounds selfish of me, I don’t regret letting go of all those friends who had undermined my self-worth at some point in time. No, I miss them. I wasn’t friends with them for any superficial gains to show people how friendly a person I am. I was friends with them because I connected with them. Plain.
I know they say true friends never give up on each other. But the truth is, GIVE UP ON THEM when you know you don’t hold the same respect for them anymore. Don’t hold on when you are getting hurt, humiliated or simply, uncomfortable. I can’t tell you why I say this, but what I can tell you is the breezy happy change you will feel in your life WITHOUT them.
1. Your faith in your own goodness will restore
When a close friend makes you feel that you are not the kind of ‘good’ person they expected, the amount of self-doubt it brings is inexplicable. I have felt it, and so I know. There were a hundred others appreciating me for the wonderful person that I am, and then there was that one friend of mine; telling me how I hurt him every now and then, how bad a friend I was, how I was emotionally unavailable to him. I tried to meet his expectations and I failed. But I could not afford to fail on my own expectations. I believed in myself. You should too.
2. Drama level cut off to ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
As much as I hate to say it, such friends come in with a shitload of unbearable drama. Drama so intense that you want to kill yourself at times. Every grain escalates to a mountain in microseconds, and you are left scratching your head, ’What the f**k did I do now?’
With them gone, off goes the drama. Nothing will ever seem more peaceful. PERIOD.
3. You are more confident of being yourself
Listen to me closely when I say this, you were not yourself with them. Yes, you were faking it most of the times; you were trying hard to be their ideal person, and that ideal person was waaaaaaaaaaaayy different from you. They couldn’t accept you for what you are, and that is no way your fault. You couldn’t be the perfect friend because the mould they made was too stringent to fit in. Breathe. Relax. Enjoy the freedom you gifted yourself.
4. Worries? Fights? Ugly texts? Whooooooosh!
Open your texts and see. Do you find your daily dose of ugly text messages anymore? Do you remain occupied all day thinking how would you make your friend forgive you yet again? Do you feel the need to explain yourself to anyone? The answer is NO. That, right there is the magic my friend.
5. You are open to better people; better friendships
We all need friends. While we are tied to a constraining friendship, the prospects of enjoying a healthy relationship with other people in our life is affected drastically. Just like any other ties we share, our friendship is important to us, and ups and downs in it can affect the heart and mind in more ways than one can imagine. When you let go, you are opening yourself to better people. You have your lessons learnt, and giving yourself another chance at friendship is something you truly deserve.
6. You are able to take up your stand better than ever
Yes, if you can go through a friendship break-up; hold yourself up and start it afresh because you know you deserve better, YOU ARE YOUR OWN HERO! Cheers. Now, go treat yourself. Have a fancy dinner, get those shopping bags on, live it like a hero.
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I understand it takes time, and you miss them terribly in the beginning. You might even feel you are the worst person ever. But do not fall weak; give yourself some time before retracting and regretting it again. You have just one life. You deserve to be loved, unconditionally.
What are your views on such toxic friendships? Let us know in the comments below!