7 Things Judge’mental’ Aunties Say To Our Mothers

I am fed up with these ‘chugli karne wali auntiyan‘. Are you?

If you are also one of those who have been subjected to the torture of Auntiyan feeding crap in your mom’s head, you are about to witness the list of black magic, jhaad phuk and brutally well-constructed lies.

1. Feed me Gossip, Oops Exam Result

They want a gossip for the next one and a half month and guess their gossip provider? Exam Result Portal.Bhabhi ji, Bittu ke kitna aaye boards main?” “Bhabhi ji, Rintu ke kitne aaye boards main?” And their classic ‘humara beta toh bada hosiyar hai’ (Insert percentage higher than yours, obviously) ab toh IIT ki taiyaari kar rha hai. *Inner Me* Hona toh nahi hai iska.

Haaye Haaye itne bure, 99%!? padhta likhta nahi hai na isiliye 1% nahi aaye. Mere beter ke toh 101% aaye

Also Read | 5 Indian Mother Dialogues That Matches The Different Moods Of Bosses

2. The Shaadi Mania

They think the solution to everything is marriage. I am going on trips, shaadi karado iski. I am looking pretty, shaadi karva hi do ab iski. I am cooking, Bass waqt aagaya hai haath pile karvane ka. And the ultimate: Shaadi Karado iski, ummar nikli jaa rhi hai Bhabhi ji.

We were there before the existence of thought of Shaadi.com

3. Naukri Lag Gayi? 

They simply cannot, cannot shut up. They will keep asking my mom, ‘Naukri Lag gayi uski? Salary Kitni hai?’ AND THEN THEY WILL COMPARE ME WITH THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS OBVIOUSLY.

Thik Thak hi kama lete hai aapke bache

4. That Boy

Oh, they have eagle vision! Aunties can spot you from the other side of the road, from the top of the mountain and probably from the parellel universe also. Bhabhi ji, pani puri kha rhe the dono, maine socha aapko bata du, aaj kal ke bache bade jaldi hi jawan hojate hai na. Kya karen!

They enjoy the scene where my mom scolds me more than any movie

5. The Not-So-Appropriate Clothes 

They always start with a justification. “Bhabhi ji, waise toh hum bhi modern khayalat wale hai, lekin…(And then they take the dramatic pause) Aapki bacchi aajkal kaafi modern kapde pehnane lagi hai.” (Nanga ghumti hai yeh toh bol nahi sakti woh) Then they wait for mummy’s stance, if they look a little embarrassed, they will shoot mummy with multiple kinds of zeher. For example ‘aise kapde, ladko ka attention paane ke liye.’ ‘Haath se nikli jaa rhi hai ladki’ blah blah. If mom takes a normal stance, then they play the ‘zamana kharab chalrha hai, ladkiyan safe nahi hai’ card.

*My mom confronting me* Bijjaldeva=Aunty, so aacurate

6. Judging your body

If I am Fat, “Bhabhi ji, issey zara exercise karne ko kahiye, aisa/aisi rahi/raha toh kaun shaadi karega issey?” If I am skinny, “Bhabhi ji, isko kuch khilaya pilaya kijiyeThey are too smart, mark my words, too smart.

I am so old yet my skin glows 10000 times more than your young daughters

7. They Cannot Leave Anyone

*Aunty’s Devil Mind* Sirf iski burai karke maza nahi aaya. “Bhabhi ji, sach keh rhi hu, Yeh Riya/Rohan ke dost, (dramatic pause) sangat aachi ni lagti. Aapko kya lagta hai? (A subjective question after manipulatory brain-nasht karing spell)

Irony? Her group got more hot gossip than mine.

Also Read | How I Ideal With “Beta Kuch Khaati Kyu Nahi?”

Do you know any such aunties? Let us know in the comment setion below!

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I believe in experiences, and positivity attracts me. I believe in recording everything, memories, experiences, narratives, and feelings. This is maybe the reason I find solace in writing. My entire life I've been traveling across the country; I've been meeting new people, I've been listening to their stories and learning a lot from them. I live in the city that witnessed Bajirao and Mastani's love. While I love to explore different areas, I also admire the fact that people are so different yet so similar to each other. I believe everyone you meet has something to teach you.