Breakup causes Heartbreak. It is that pain which goes on for much longer than pain associated with physical injuries. When you break your hand, it hurts terribly at the moment but minutes or hours later when your bones are set, the pain goes down to a dull throb. But the emotional pain caused by heartache lasts weeks, months or even years. Don’t lose heart, you will move on in time, you will find a love better suited for you, and all of this will be a memory.
There are going to be painful moments, instances of questioning yourself, questioning your relationship and, most likely, questioning life at large.
If you want to stop hurting sooner rather than later, here are 9 things you should avoid:
1. Holding on
Many people feel lost after a breakup, not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Give yourself some time to adapt to single life. Stop holding on to your ex. Look forward in life, cherish beautiful things happening in your life. Try not to hold on to things which makes you weak and seperates you from happiness.
2. Revenge after breakup
Remember, taking revenge will not make you feel better, so if you have any idea of taking revenge, drop it. The thrill of revenge only feeds bitterness and hatred. You may have been deeply wronged, but “getting even” won’t heal any wounds. Forgive, let go and move on for the better. Carry your head high and spend your energy on people who deserve it.
We do have a habit of stalking, and social media can be dangerous when dealing with a heartache. Follow two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online and resist the urge to stalk your ex. If you want to be peaceful then you should never try to stalk and try not to know things happening around your ex’s life.
4. Giving up
Take some time to refocus and pursue the things you’ve always loved to do. Spend time with loved ones. Love isn’t a one-shot experience. Learn what you can from the relationship that just ended and move forward. Don’t give up on meeting your perfect match. Be thankful that the wrong relationship ended to free you up for the right one. Remember, when someone moves out of your life, it’s just to make a space for a better person to come in.
5. Don’t try to be “just friends.”
Most of the time it happens that one has a urge to be friends and very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship. Until you’re okay with the idea of your ex-dating someone new and vice versa. You’re not ready to be pals. Create space for a while and let yourself mourn the end of the relationship. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.
You broke up, but you still want4 to have a communication with your ex. Don’t text or call your ex even if you desperately want to talk. There will be times when it’s important to communicate with your ex. Maybe you need to return his/her things or maybe anything. Resist the urge, ask a close friend if you can call him/her every time you would usually reach out to your ex. ‘Cause a direct communication with your ex won’t let you to heal, and forget the cherished moment.
7. Beg for reconciliation
Don’t beg him/her to return. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you. You’ll never understand why it ended. Maybe you’ll think it ended for the wrong reasons. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all. Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go. Besides, if your ex rejects you a second time, it won’t just hurt; the rejection will sting with extra humiliation and regret.
8. Don’t Be Self-Destructive
Everyone knows this, but a reminder doesn’t hurt: “Never harm yourself ” , “Don’t drown your sorrows in alcohol and badmouth your ex to everyone you know“. It’s easy to feel out of control after a breakup, especially if you’re adding fuel to the fire by indulging in such activities. Wise thing to do after a breakup: monitor your social media usage. A little alone time is good for reflection. It’s in trend these days to have cuts on your body if you’re hurt, but friend, it isn’t cool and not the ideal thing to do. You are precious. Never harm yourself for someone.
9. Do not isolate
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Most people go into isolation after a breakup. Being alone with your thought won’t help you get past anything. Try to connect with as many people as you can. Start spending time with your family and friends. You never know when you might need someone who can help you out. Be around people, go out and do nice things for someone. Go out and help others. “Isolation is a sign of depression.” If you find yourself in that place, it’s OK, but it’s time to reach out and get help.
“IF your partner has decided to let you go, then be smart enough to understand your value, and fly : the cage is open”
What do you feel? Do let us know your views in the comments below!