You cannot condition love. Falling head over heels for someone is not in your hands. You will learn about him by spending time, listening, and observing his actions. Nonetheless, the only logical thing you can do is to ask the right questions to your potential boyfriend to know him better before getting into a relationship.
Tip: Ladies, don’t make it sound like an interview. Make sure to bring up conversations where he can answer these questions.
Guys, just answer before we ask.
So, girls, these are the few important questions to ask a potential boyfriend
And guys make sure to answer them honestly. Every lie is a pack of cards in the foundation.
Are you comfortable with uncomfortable questions?
First of all, you have to find this out. Things might get messy if you both are not on the same page and it will show how much your potential boyfriend is into you.
This will also answer another question, ‘Are you his potential girlfriend?’ If so, he will definitely be ready to have a bumpy ride.
Yet, always start with a safe and a common question for your potential boy.
Tea or coffee?
It is a conversation starter. This is just to know his taste and who is going to share the cup.
It’s fine to have different tastes, one belonging to ‘Chaistaan’ while other is from ‘cafephile’. It is a matter of choice while spending time.
What are your hobbies and interests?
Easy way to get comfortable in the first place and know about basic things about him. It shows whether he is into creative work, team sports, strategic games, or high-risk games.
Tell me something about your day? / How was your day at work?
It’s a way to know about how he spends his day. You can learn about his current life and job. If he is displeased with the current routine and plans to change it in the future, he is striving for the better, or else he is just comfortable with life. Maybe he is afraid to change.
What is your dream job/goals?
Dreams define a person’s passion. It shows more than what he is now. He might not be a Ranbir Kapoor of Tamasha. Yet, his dream job might be a lot different than the façade. You will meet a lot of different people when he speaks about his dream. You will be surprised at his enthusiasm. Maybe you have a compatible skill to support him.
How do you spend your time with your mom and other family members?
His real sensitive side demonstrates through family stories. The time he spends with his mother and activities he does together will have a lot of influence on how he will treat you in the future. Never miss knowing in this in your conversations.
Tip: Everything is not in words. Observe the guy’s beyond conversation.
Who are you close to in the family?
In general sense, men close to mom are sensitive and those close to dad are logical. (It completely differs. This is not registered rule.) Make sure to know who are the other people he is close to. It will be helpful in future. You will know whom to talk to, when he is out of rails.
Who influences you the most?
The man of influence guides his path. Most of the decision taken by him consciously or subconsciously is influenced by that individual. This would give an insight into his thoughts and plans.
Why does that person influence you most?
There is a reason behind the inspiration. A scenario he saw that person bravely, courageously, sentimentally which influenced him emotionally. Learning the reason might help you know, what influences him to do things. (It would help you have an influential conversation).
Do you follow mind or heart?
A person of mind takes his decision logically and a man of the heart is emotional following instincts. Will he follow instincts in the time of distress or do what is right by written rules?
Do you believe in god?
It is important to have clarity on this. Otherwise many arguments will be based completely on beliefs and practices. It is good to have a common ground about this. ‘Oh My God’ movie is not possible in everybody’s life. He is not going to change if he doesn’t believe it.
Believe in horoscope or destiny?
Life may not be ‘What’s your Rashi?’, but only one person believing in horoscope might make it difficult. If he is man of destiny, he might not struggle hard and accept the flow.
Does compatibility or opposite attract?
Few men look for compatible partners, while other look for adventure in opposites. This will help you vision your relation. Will it be a vanilla or chilly ice cream?
What do you look in a person?
Traits and characteristics of his dream woman may not be in aligned with you. You can chill if his philosophy is ‘opposite attracts’ but maybe it’s better to stay at arms distance if he is man of compatibility.
Ease it now. Look it normal questions you can bring into conversations. Have fun.
What is your playlist?
Bring it to ease, your conversation, and the pace of learning about your potential boyfriends. It’s safe to know, whether he is a man of Arjit Singh or Maroon 5. You might even buy earplugs if he is a fan of BTS and you are not.
What is your comfortable AC temperature?
Don’t laugh. This may find like a silly question. Living with a person with different room temperature is going to all about fighting for remote, hiding it or pulling out sweaters/blankets. No one will have same temperature, but finding nearby wins half the battle.
Morning or a night person?
Make sure you are time zones in the same city are not as different as the USA and India. Just imagine waking up when he is sleeping just after a long PUBG game. The only time you both would be having a conversation is in the evening. This takes me to the next question.
Call or PUBG?
Code Red! Code Red! If he said yes, you are being duped. No man in this world will choose to call over PUBG. If he is not playing PUBG now, he will defiantly download. If he says the game, he is an honest man. Make peace with it.
Video games or getting dirty in the ground?
You might have got the clarity of this question in the above answer. Yet, there is no rule that man of PUBG never like dust. So, you can divert conversation towards what is he more leaned towards. It is good to have an idea about are you going to get caged in an idiot box or in a court square.
Are you an animal lover?
Before even being a cat or dog person get clarity on his love for animals. Being opposite magnets in this scenario can be tricky. Hardcore animal lovers will have pictures of dogs, cats, lions, and tigers more than yours. Get ready for that. If you are a lover, he might be having trouble understanding this behavior.
Night out or night in?
Just a peep into the future of long night drives, food street, and clubs, or a cozy night with Netflix/Prime. This will show whether he is an extrovert or introvert. On second thought, if he is an ambivert, it will be a suspense movie.
Drives or walks?
Don’t jump at both. Although one chooses it on the basis of mood, the heart yearns either driver or walk. Few like long drives, because they love their baby, oops, not you! their car. While few would like to slow down and enjoy the breeze.
Now, slowly get into relations and memories. Just sneak in.
Who is your closest/best friend?
Most men have an opinion that girlfriend can never have a good relation with best friend. If you know about his best friend, their stories and depth of relation, you can burst this myth. You might even find a good friend.
What is your special memory with best friend?
Let him speak about things he loves. The more he shares, the deeper he trusts you. You will know him better too.
Craziest thing you have ever done. Would you do it again?
This will help you know whether he reached a comfort zone. So, let him open up more. You will learn about his extremes. If he would like to do it again, is he counting you in?
What is your favorite family tradition you used to do when you were a kid?
Family tradition as a kid might be funny to share. The more you learn about his childhood, you would understand his roots and sentiments. The man he is today is crafted by childhood he spent.
Most essential things in your life?
This will give a deeper insight into his life. Is he a man of material or emotions? Are his essentials needs or luxuries? Better know these answers beforehand.
What is your philosophy in life?
It is the way he lives. Do you accept it? You should be comfortable with his philosophy or else it should be adjustable. Is he flexible?
Notebook or Fifty Shades of Grey or Mission Impossible?
His choice defines whether he is man of love, lust or action. Mostly they would choose MI, but is he willing to sacrifice action for your Notebook? Give it a try. If you are a women of MI, can you watch love stories with him?
One thing you want to change about yourself?
Accepting flaws is a sign of maturity. He must be ready to accept his flaws, work on it, and much better share with you. This shows your potential boyfriend is ready to accept you in the inner circle.
Have you ever lost someone close to you?
You might risk rubbing an emotional nerve. Nonetheless, if he is ready to show his emotional side, you must be ready to reciprocate the same. Give a comforting shoulder to lean on.
Move on for better.
Best phase in life?
Pull him out of the painful conversation towards the best phase. This helps you know what elements make his life much better. You can try to recreate the same.
Worst phase in life?
There are two sides to the same coin. Let him take his time. These difficult times are not for reminiscing, yet he could share things he learned from that phase. He can cherish the moment, he walked out strong from that phase.
How do you cope up with failure?
One sulk at things they cannot handle. A person with less EQ finds it hard to cope with disappointments. You better know his ways of handling failure.
Your bucket list?
It shows his fun side. Is he a man of goa or has a list of Zindagi na milegi doobara? Further, you can know whether he likes to do these things alone, with friends or partners.
Person of plan or flow?
He can either be structured and well planned. This is good in a way, but if it is to the extent of rigidity, it might create an issue. A man with the flow is more flexible, but can you handle uncertainty?
Now, slow and steadily at your discretion you can go ahead with conversation. This can get uncomfortable.
Tip: Men hate people barge in their lives. So, if you feel you are in a phase, you can ask him about his past relationship, go ahead. Otherwise, give some time.
Did you have any past relationships?
Learning about his past, helps you settle down the bumps. There will be no blows from outside because there are no secrets. You can understand him closely.
Tip: Mostly, he will go ahead stating the reason. Silence in his story means he is not in peace with it. Girls like to know what they are getting into. Yet, stepping into personal space can be muddy.
What didn’t work in the previous relationship?
Observe whether he is honestly agreeing on his mistake or still on a blaming track.
What is that one thing that makes you push people away?
It can be habits, character traits, behavior. Make sure you don’t fall in that category.
What is your energy booster when you are down?
It will come in handy if you have to lift his spirits in the future. People say women are complicated. Yet, men are much more complicated.
Love to cook or love to eat?
If not cook whole food, can he lend a hand? His love for cooking can lead to a date where you can cook together. If your both are foodies, every place is meant for exploration.
Beer or hard drinks?
You will know his habits and how deeply he is into them. Does he occasionally drink or his weekends are spent intoxicated?
Are you a man of routine or clumsy life?
Having a plan and to-do-list shows his clarity. He is specific about things. Clumsiness shows he varies with mood and interest.
Favorite place in the city?
He might have a story behind it. Did he ever take you there? Is he planning to take you there? You can even surprise him taking there.
Planning to change city?
In the future, when you decide your potential boyfriend has a probability to become your boyfriend. Are you looking at a long-distance relationship?
If you could take us anywhere in the world right now, where would you take us?
Looking forward to spending time in the future and planning trips does show his interest in you. His choice of the place also represents what he is expecting from you.
Do you cringe in long phone conversations or love to talk?
An unreasonable phone call from girls shows they are missing. Girls even would like to stay silent in the call, just to feel his presence. However, men are not like that. So, it’s better to know beforehand and stay on the same page.
How do you resolve conflicts?
Few like to sleep on it and others like to solve it before next day. While few like to discuss and others just move on. What is his method?
An activity that calms you?
Few write, others sketch, play, dance, boxing while some do exercise. Few might even sit in silence with no others in space.
What do you do or where do you go when you need to be alone?
It is the deepest secret one keep it to themselves. It will help you find him when he is down.
Tip: Don’t ever find him there. Men need space. The moment you step in there is the moment he starts regretting.
When there is a problem you like to talk about it or ignore it?
Man who ignores never settles. Ignorance piles up emotions which comes out in wrong situation in a wrong way.
Friends before getting into a relationship?
Does he like to take it slow? One step at a time. Know about his opinion on friendship and relationship. ‘pyaar dosti hai’ is not universal philosophy.
Comfortable being friends after separation?
Everyone does not believe in being friends after friends after the breakup. What is his philosophy?
Home or bachelor’s nest?
Even though we love our parents, few would like to stay in a separate house. What are his plans? Is he traditional in living or changes with time?
Does commitment scare you?
Final granite. Check his commitment levels. Even though you love him and he loves you, a commitment-phobic is ticking time bomb in relation.
No number of questions will define a person unless he wants to open up.
Men flip at 5 questions.
So here is the cheat sheet for you women:
- Family relation
- Philosophy in life
- Fun time and
- Emotional side
Lastly, Be diligent in love and skeptic in conversation. Trust is good until it does not turn you blind.
Do you know more fun questions to ask a potential boyfriend? Drop them in the questions below.
Also Read | 8 Signs He Likes You Too!