To The One I Love: Please Don’t Make Me Feel Bad Just Because My Best Friend Is Of The Opposite Gender

You are a girl or a guy, you are dating or in a relationship, you are engaged or married, it doesn’t matter. There is one constant devil for your relationship – the best friend of the opposite gender. You are either in the ‘feeling jealous’ or ‘making the partner jealous’ side of it and trust me both sides are difficult and hurtful.

Also Read | An Open Letter To My Best Friend’s Soulmate

To the one who is jealous,

Do you remember the time when she got into some trouble and called ‘him’ first for help because ‘his’ place was close-by and you weren’t sure if you should be happy that she is safe or feel bad that she called ‘him’ first?

Do you remember the time when he dropped ‘her’ off at home because it got late and you did not know if you should be proud of your boyfriend that he is sensible or feel bad that it was ‘her’?

Most of the time it is both, isn’t it? Making your head feel like a sea of contradictions.

I know, you are just possessive. It is not your fault. The feeling that no one else should see your love the same way you do is so damn strong that you cannot help but burst out once in a while, and it comes out all wrong. It is okay to be possessive, but keep it in check. Possessiveness is like the monkey that never listens to our brain. It overpowers our sense of thinking and we end up arguing and fighting for the silliest things possible.

If it makes you feel any better, let me tell you again. It is okay. It is okay that they share a special bond that you don’t understand and can never be a part of. And if at times you are sidelined, it is still okay. Don’t feel insecure. You don’t have to play a best friend’s role if you know you truly are one. So accept and respect their friendship. Even if you don’t have anyone close to that in your life, be happy for what your partner has. We do know what friendship means and if it is deep, we respect it, no matter with whom it is. It does take a lot of patience and monk-like training. But in the end, it’ll all be worth it. Being the super cool, understanding partner does have its own share of perks, doesn’t it? 😉

And to the one who is making his/her partner jealous

Do not say that you are not aware that your partner is jealous of your friendship, of course, you are. If your partner fights for the silliest things, understand that it is because of the love they have for you and it is the possessiveness speaking. He/She is trying hard, to not let the monkey overpower. Be the darling partner and make it easier for them. Turn down the friendship jingle a little (just a tad bit, because I know how important and special your friendship is). Remind your love, if not every now and then at least once in a while, what he/she means to you. 🙂

Shahrukh’s piece of advice from Dear Zindagi fits so well here. You cannot be everything and everyone to your love. Even though you want to and even though he/she says you are. Remember it is just not practical.

Also Read | A Letter To The Woman Who Replaced Me

Tag your life partners and guy/girl best friend in the comment section below and let them know that they both are equally important.