Is There A Lot Of Charismatic Air Around You?

Man looking at reflection in mirror

-Nishtha Dhand

His grandiosity was alluring and the exceptional ego, interpersonal warmth, humour, attractiveness made him stand out. Charming was his middle name. Surrounded by ladies and extra services provided to him, he was the center of attraction. Each one has something to say about his enterprising attitude and he was the one who was holding a conversation, speaking highly of himself as if the entire world revolves around him. Made me think is he a speaker? A common man or a celebrity? CEO or Restaurant owner? Multi-billionaire or simply an attention seeker? ”

Sitting on the next table me and Alvira had no choice but to lend our ears to them. This table was happening!

It was the time to order food now. While ordering inquisitive Alvira quickly checked with the attendant “Who is this gentleman?”

“He is our preferred customer! Every time new set of ladies, sir, has a big heart he keeps everyone happy, his dining patrons are appreciable. He wants best of hospitality and people to take care of him,” said the steward.

While we were enjoying our dinner outrageously one of the ladies stood up and accused him of being impatient and self-centered as if she has busted his private bubble. Lacking empathy, he was arrogant enough to give her any attention…

We meet people from different walks of life in different frames and visage. Stigmatizing someone as a Narcissist on a superficial level is not reasonable. But to distinguish them from a healthy being can be done on the basis of the charismatic air created by them.  Narcissism is a disease existing on a spectrum. It’s a personality disorder. Though we belong to a country where male chauvinism is outrageously rampant we should not mix the two. Here are few tips helping those in a relationship with a narcissist.

i am in in a relationship with narcissist

  1. If you feel throughout the conversation he is engaged in self-admiration and seeks attention and expect special treatment from you.
  2. He takes care of your every small need, makes you feel extra comfortable and reveals you that you are a reflection of his specialness. He gets too possessive and interfering.
  3. If you feel during your conversations with him he is entitled and impatient.
  4. He is flirty and socially savvy exceptionally.-he may have strong social skills but cannot stand in a relationship for long. He gets diverted and bored easily and hardly pays a heed to the one overshadowing his image.
  5. Critiques everything.
  6. Initially, if he feels that you suffice his needs or supply him things of his interest he would give you lavish praises, but deep inside he wants your focus on him.
  7. Materialistic and Volatile.
  8. Narcissists enjoy name-dropping, associating himself with hottest brands or set of people.
  9. Manipulative in dealing with relationships and people around.
  10. Mendacity, the dissimulation of thoughts, the equivocation of truth and pretentious behaviour are essential features of their personality.
  11. The other  challenging aspects of their behaviour  are ‘Controlling and Demanding’, ‘Being an Attention seeker,’  ‘Lack of empathy’, ‘Seeing others as a reflection of their own specialness’, ‘Indulging into lavish praises to get the focus on them,’ ‘Volatile attitude’, ‘Upbringing’, ‘Defense mechanism’, and ‘Womanizing’ .
  12. A Narcissist would even enlighten the doctors and lawyers with his great wisdom and is always ready to argue, educate them. He would make his own rules, impose them on others and try to portray himself as a connoisseur!
  13. A narcissist never apologizes from the heart, he uses the word sorry to manipulate or gain any attention and maybe sometimes to control. Lying all the time and faking is their part of nature. They are skillful at giving professed apologies. They are efficient in communicating resentment of distress rather than remorse. (Defense system they have a façade of self-importance)
  14. The tendency to blame others for their failures and fabricating stories.
  15. Arrogant, irresponsible. Acting differently in public than in private is also a part of their nature.

Unfortunately, if someone has destined to be in a relationship with a narcissist it’s better to walk away else they will drain you, thrive on your energy and make you feel physically and emotionally exhausted. They are so incredibly endearing if you happen to say anything wrong about them they will make you walk on eggshells wanting to do everything right.

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