Is India Open Minded?
We are a free country, but definitely not a free – minded one. I say this because every other day, I come across news that make me question our discretion and mindfulness as a society. And if I happen to conduct a poll on ‘What offends the Indians most?’, the unanimous answer would be SEX. (Shhh..! Did I just say the word which should not be said out loud?). Really, Is India open minded?
We may have come a long way, but not sex – wise. The sex – talk is still the most dreaded conversation every parent avoids to have with their children. A girl’s character is still judged upon the basis of her virginity. A man’s manliness is decided upon his sexual dominance over his female counter part. See, I haven’t even started properly and a lot of you may already have had your backs stiff with unease. Well, I can’t really help you out, because I am too rapt imagining a more open Indian Society, sex – wise!
Here are the things I feel would face lesser backlash. Trust me, the conditions CAN improve.
Yes, nobody has done it. Nobody even imagines of it. And I have a unicorn as my pet! (*wink*)
Let’s accept it. A lot of us ARE sexually active but hesitate to come upfront about it to our friends and parents. Not even hesitate, it is strictly a no – mention topic for us. We have lied in truth and dare about our virginity and we will continue to do so. If only we could feel assured of not being judged for something as natural as anything else!
The concept of consent is more of like alien to us. Our ideology – it is a wife’s duty to fulfill her husband’s sexual desires, all time, every time. If only we could understand that sex is something that needs to be enjoyed equally by both the partners, and not forced on any one. Also, the law against marital rapes wouldn’t take so much time to realize if not for the severe protest.
We have never had any. Neither from our parents, not from our teachers. And this is the major reason why we believe in a lot of dumb hypothetical shit we see in porno movies or imagine out of our own heads. See this for example –
Sex – ed is the basic step, and skipping that only turns us into negligent adults. And the disasters that follow, I am pretty sure you are aware of them.
All the people in the house, is that girl characterless?
Yes, yes, yes, because she ain’t virgin man!
Virginity is, to this date, a deciding factor for an individual’s character. You are only supposed to lose it to our spouse, on an auspicious occasion (wedding night), and on a white sheet; because the blood stain will be a mark of your chastity. Guys, I have literally seen marriages break because of it, and it’s not cool. How about we start looking up more scientifically and understand that the hymen can break without sexual intercourse too?
Birth Control measures.
Chhatri, Topi, Thaila and what not! All these names to one poor thing called condom. And we hesitate in using that as well, because ‘Asli maza to sher ko khulla chhodne mein hi hai’! Our knowledge on other birth control measures – tending to zero. What we don’t understand is that safe sex can protect us from STDs, as well as unwanted pregnancies. And I am pretty sure you must have heard of at least one case of a new born being abandoned on the roadside. Seriously, what was the child’s fault?
Teen age Abortions.
A lot of cases come up of teen age girls dying during abortion by midwives, or in stupid illegal clinics. Equally bad, they take some pill prescribed by some self-acclaimed doctor or from info gained over the internet and bleed to death. Reasons? Too ashamed of going to an actual doctor. Fear of being judged and ruining family reputation.
Just one thing, a life is precious. Of the unborn child and the mother alike. At least more precious than our stigmas around sex. Decide for yourself.
Differed sexual orientation.
While the LGBT community is still fighting its way through the world, India has been no help. And frankly, it will be long before that actually happens. But why? Why can’t we allow two individuals to lead a life of their own, regardless of their gender? What is the big fuss? If we cannot support, the least we can do is not protest as well. Don’t boycott a person for their sexual preference, don’t treat them as madmen and definitely don’t harass them mentally.
I know this article may not be too comfy for some of you to read, but if you have come so far, you can change too. And if you already agree, cheers mate! You are a progressive citizen of a progressive India.
I know the mindset won’t change overnight. You will still have to hide a lot of things from your near and dear ones. But if you at least become a person who people can come to and seek support without the fear of being judged, a part of the battle will already be won.
Is India Open Minded? Drop your views in the comments below.