How To Ask Your Ex To Hang Out As Friends

how to ask your ex to hang out
how to ask your ex to hang out

Though the sentiment of being friends with your ex and asking them to hang out is a good one, it’s important to take it slow and give each other the time to heal. Let the dust settle before any attempts at communication. If you want to hang out with your ex, be careful while approaching them.

These are 11 important things you should consider before asking your ex to hang out.

Here’s how to ask your ex to hang out with you:

1. Give your ex some space after your breakup

How To Ask Your Ex to Hang Out

You both need to grieve the relationship and settle into your single life again, a process that does not involve each other. So it’s necessary to take that time apart to deal with and process those memories and emotions you both share.

Establish new habits, new boundaries, regenerate your single, individual life, and find new go-to friends to celebrate with you in your good times and be there with you through the bad. Even if your ex texts or calls you, be completely sure that you’ve moved past them and your break up, or else clearly tell them that you need time.

2. Maintain some distance from your ex

Many a time, if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you might be roaming in the same friend circles. Or you might be working or meeting in the same places. It’s important then, to maintain your distance. Be cordial, but try hanging out in a separate area from them so you both get time to heal and don’t end up hurting each other.

And most importantly, if you know somewhere in the back of your mind that you want to maintain a good equation with them in the future, do not bad-mouth them in front of anyone.

3. Do not be impulsive with your ex

How To Ask Your Ex To Hang Out

Once it’s been an appropriately long time since you’ve separated, if you do reach out, be intentional. You should know exactly why you’re reaching out to them before you do it, so you don’t waste either person’s time or stir up unnecessary hurt.

People don’t always require no contact to move on, but many times, it is the most effective way to get through a breakup.

4. Think about if it will benefit you both

It is important to consider if this going to benefit them too, or only you. Ideally, you should only reach out if you believe the impact will be positive for both of you.

Also, consider if this could potentially hurt your ex or make it harder for them to move on. This, and the previous point means you definitely should not be contacting them to hang out if you’re feeling lonely or sad.

Reaching out to an ex can be really meaningful to them, as long as it’s about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. And if you’re looking to maintain a long-lasting friendship, it’s even more important to keep their feelings into consideration.

5. Approach your ex gently

Understand that they might not be in the right frame of mind to hang out yet. You don’t have a clue what’s going on with them, so approach them gently. You can start out with a careful text and go from there.

However, remember to be as direct as possible. Texts can be easily misconstrued and your tone can be misunderstood. Be clear about why you are contacting them, be as upfront and transparent as possible.

6. Give your ex an out

You need to be realistic about how your ex might respond. They might be happy to meet up, or they might not be ready, so it’s important that you give them an out so they don’t feel obligated into hanging out with you.

It’s only fair that they prioritize themselves. They might need more time to heal, so don’t take it too personally if they aren’t ready.

7. Be respectful of your ex’s current relationship status

man and woman holding bottles of drinks

When asking your ex to hang out, be mindful of their relationship status. Of course, you both are adults and there is no rule that you can’t hang out with your ex just because they’re in a new relationship, but be considerate.

If they seem happy and genuinely content in a new relationship, and if you feel hanging out could complicate that, then just let it be and let them be happy.

8. Don’t continue to contact your ex if they do not respond

If you’re going to reach out to your ex, be thoughtful and exercise a lot of empathy. If they haven’t responded to your texts, DMs, or social media comments, you should back off.

They might not want any form of communication with you, and you need to respect their decision and needs.

Their silence says all you need to know about even the idea of being friends. Understand that your ex doesn’t owe you that.

9. Make sure you and your ex are on the same page

How To Ask Your Ex to Hang Out

In an ideal situation where your ex has agreed to hang out with you, it’s important to start off by being clear with where you stand. That perspective will be the foundation of your future friendship.

If you don’t lay everything down now, you’ll never be able to have a healthy one. Keep the first reunion short and sweet and lay everything out. Be clear and direct about what you want.

If they express something that you don’t want or aren’t ready for, be prepared for how you want to proceed from there. The main point is, you both need to be on the same page.

10. Be sure that you’re completely over your ex

If you’re going to hang out with your ex, as just friends, it’s important to ensure that absolutely all the sparks have died. You need to be able to be truly happy for them, after all, support and care is one of the main foundations of friendship.

However, if you discover some still-present feelings, take a step back and evaluate. It’s important if you want to continue having a good equation with them.

11. Take charge of your own happiness

Most importantly, if it’s been going great as friends with them for a while now, it’s inevitable that at some point you guys are going to start making your own decisions, even finding new partners.

As a friend, you don’t have a say in their decisions and actions. You can only control what you say and do, not what they say or do.

It’s natural to feel a little sting when seeing them in a romantic situation with someone who isn’t you, especially if it’s before you have a new partner, but with a quick perspective-check, you should be able to brush it off. Control yourself and your own happiness.

Sometimes, being friends with an ex can be beneficial to you both. You know each other well, have been a huge part of each other’s lives. And if things ended on an okay note between the two of you, remaining supportive, uplifting friends can do you both wonders.

Also Read | 7 Stages Of A Relationship That Will Help You To Know How A Perfect Bond Is Formed


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