In the progressive era of women supporting women, there are so many things happening around that we are still unaware of. In other words, there are so many things that we still need to educate ourselves about.
We all are certainly familiar with the concept of a relationship. “There is a man. There is a woman. Both of them live happily together. The man works and earns and makes important decisions for the family. On the other hand, the woman takes care of the household and looks after her husband and children.” – The old patriarchal concept.
People are finally becoming aware now. The world is becoming a more accepting place. The society is witnessing same-gender couples without frowning upon them.
Similarly, there is one more concept that many of us are not so familiar with. This concept is generally known as a Female Led Relationship (FLR).
What is a Female Led Relationship (FLR)?
A Female Led Relationship is the one where a woman leads the relationship and the men accept it.
The female partner takes up responsibilities like:
- Bein the decision-maker of the relationship
- Being the dominant one
- Being the bread-earner of the family
- Doing all the household chores as per her own satisfaction (Because being a leader does not mean that we stop doing our part of work)
- Decorating the house as per her wishes
- Making important decisions for the family/relationship
- Taking her husband out on a romantic dinner
- Making dinner reservations and placing orders
- Proposing her man for the marriage
- Initiating the first kiss
- Deciding the school for the kids
- Planning yearly family trips
- Choosing what gifts to give to someone
- Sketching out the sex life
The list can go as long as a woman desires. That’s the whole point of a female-led relationship.
How many levels does Female-led relationships work on?
Everything has categories or levels of extremities. In a similar fashion, this type of relationship can also ride on various levels based on the quantum of the extremity:
Level 1 – Mild FLR
At this safest level, there is a very low female intervention. She steps us for tasks that “she has to”. In other words, the female is most certainly deciding the colour of the bedroom. However, it’s not because she is dying to do so. But merely because either the husband is confused with the colours or he has altogether expressed his disinterest in the task. And he wants his wife to do it.
Level 2 – Moderate FLR
The next level is the one where the lady actually finds it interesting. Basic decisions like “Which movie to go for?” Or, “Which restaurant to dine at?” forms part of this level. She is not complaining that she has to make choices for all this. But at the same time, she is drawing boundaries not to get too involved in this.
Level 3 – Balanced FLR
As the name itself suggests, this is quite a balanced and most preferred level. Here, the woman voluntarily takes charge of the house and makes sure that the husband faces no issue with it. Both of them are willing to work on this level and it’s a win-win situation. The woman gets to boss around ruling the kingdom called ‘Home’ like the Goddess she is. Along with that, the man enjoys the soft nurturing that society has not witnessed much in the past.
Level 4 – Extreme FLR
At this level, the woman might go a bit overboard and get control to the level of extremity. From the colour of the bed sheet to the duration of TV time allowed, everything is decided by the lady of the house. She will not tolerate if anything doesn’t go her way. This level generally falls out of the safe zone.
Points to be noted
- A couple can go from one level to another
- Level 1 can be good for the beginners who want to try something new in their relationship
- It is important to note that Level 4 is good only if it works as per the agreement of both the parties
- The most favorable levels are Level 2 and Level 3
- It’s best to stick to what works best for both man and woman in the relationship
- There is no hard and fast rule to follow a particular sequence
- This does not have to be a permanent practice
How do we know if a man is ready for a female-led relationship?
People are often resistant to change. And THIS – well, this is obviously a very big change. Therefore, in order to make sure that no one gets hurt in this little experiment, it’s better to assure that our partner is actually ready for this.
A man is ready for a Female Led Relationship (FLR) if:
1. The man is understanding
It is very important that the husband understands his wife. And for that, communication is the key. Sitting down and explaining why a certain thing is important for you can help you both go a long way together.
2. The man is supportive
If he supports you and your willingness to try something new, he is quite ready. The support of the partner plays a vital role in any relationship.
3. The man is independent
If a man is independent, he will not worry about losing his position at home. This is really hard to work in a co-dependent relationship. The husband must be confident enough in himself that he can flow with the flow.
4. The man is secure
Insecurities kill about half of the fun. It is almost near to impossible if a man has insecurities. This shifting of power from a man to a woman can be scarring for a lot of men. So, it is always advisable to check in with the partner first.
5. The man respects you and your desires
Where there is respect, there is love. If a man respects you enough to get on-board with an adventure just because it would make you happy, he is more than ready.
6. The man respects submission
We are brought up in an environment where women are associated with the one at the receiving end of love. However, there ARE men who want to experience that love from their wives. And there most certainly ARE men who are willing to be the submissive one. Those men are ready to become a part of this kind of relationship.
7. The man is willing to experiment
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. If the husband is actually willing to try this, then there cannot be a sign clearer than this that he is ready.
8. The man is mature
Maturity is important. And if a man is not mature enough then trying new things might create issues. Thus, we have to act according to the level of comfort of our partners.
9. The man has mental stability
Above all, the man must be mentally stable. Without mental stability, there cannot be any mental peace. Thus, mental health should also be taken into consideration.
10. The man loves the woman
If a man truly loves the woman, he will help her grow and rise. And that is an important way to find out if he is ready or not.
Pros of FLR – Female Led Relationships
Why must a couple follow this approach?
1. Getting a new point of view
When we see things using a fresh pair of eyes, that is someone else’s point of view, we learn new things. Similarly, when we see a family run from a female’s point of view, we are sure to unfold many new aspects that we might have otherwise overlooked.
2. Perfection in work
There is no denying the fact that women are much more organized and efficient at every work they do. Therefore, when they take charge of leading a family, we most certainly see better results.
3. Improvement in sex life
When a woman takes control of everything including the bedroom, she attains her supreme form. It is certainly important that women explore their body with their partners by taking control. And this brings the man and woman together not just physically but also emotionally.
4. The defeat of the patriarchal practice
This kind of relationship also leaves behind the same old tradition we have been following in a misogynist environment where men feel satisfied by showing puritanical masculinity.
5. Casting a lesson upon the children
Children are the future of the country. And when they are brought up in an environment where men and women are treated equally or where women are treated like Goddesses, they inculcate that behaviour in their life as well. They will know those females are not the weaker sex. They will also know that everyone is to be treated with love and respect.
Cons of Female Led Relationships
Every coin has two sides. Similarly, as much appealing as a female-led relationship might seem, there can also be a few drawbacks to this:
1. Unfair disadvantages
As much as we promote women empowerment, we also protect the rights of men. Some women can use this concept of relationship to take disadvantage of her husband. And that is so not the purpose of this relationship.
2. Soft-heartedness comes in the way
Women are emotional and they tend to take decisions from the heart. Therefore, it can sometimes make it hard to make difficult choices. These are the situations where men can help well.
3. Possibility of building ego
Too much power can build ego in women who may gradually start considering themselves above their husbands. A marriage is about equality and certainly not disrespecting the submissive party.
4. Increasing insecurities
A man might start feeling insecure after a while. Now, that is a sign to stop this practice.
5. Non-acceptance from society
Since this is a relatively new concept, it might be frowned upon by people who do not support it fully. Therefore, it might act as a disadvantage.
Final Thoughts on Female led relationships (FLR)
A relationship is a personal business between two people. And it should not matter what others say. A couple should always go for what works the best for them.
Trying new things in a relationship also keeps the fire alive. And it adds some spice to the same old life. Even though it is good to experiment but not at the cost of anyone’s sanity.
A female-led relationship is for providing power to the woman. In addition, FLR is to celebrate a woman’s beauty because every woman is beautiful inside out.
Also, if a woman is happy, the whole family will be happy.
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