So I did my own little survey and interviewed a lot of women apart from reading the book and watching the movie and found out the set of most common excuses we give ourselves even if there are clear red flags on why a guy is not acting the way normally he would if he liked us. And if you are giving all those excuses to yourselves, well it’s time to pack your bags and move away and be ultra strong about it. There are a million more fishes in the sea ladies, how about saving yourselves the disappointments?
1. The “maybe he is too shy or scared to ask you out” excuse
If he has taken more than few meetings or months to ask you out, he is NOT shy or too afraid that things might get complicated or awkward between you two. Just because you think it might complicate the hell out of you two’s situation does not mean he can stop himself from asking out this beautiful, sexy woman for a date or for her number. Men are NOT shy, (ok maybe, a little) but not to an extent where he becomes so passive near to the point of inactiveness that you start thinking ‘is he even into me or not’?! Well, he is just not that into you to be driven to make the effort to ask you out no matter how risky a situation. It is just us trying to escape the reality for fear of feeling dejected and undesired. We would love to believe in every excuse we could conjure up in our thoughts in order to NOT face the real fact because you are so dead into him but on the same instance he is not, and somewhere down there you want to keep the expectations and hope of a turning of tables alive and keep going.
2. The “he is too important where he works and he is ultra busy, or he is on a hectic business trip/conference, or he is too focused on his goals/career which is why he doesn’t call or text you back” excuse
Ok, this one is a cliché excuse every lady gives to herself to avoid the reality. Ladies he is never too busy or focused to call you back it is as simple as that. Most men who are really into you will call you back at the slightest window of opportunity for few minutes to let you know they are busy and that they will call you when they have more time to spare to connect with you and give you the time you deserve. Be it 11 pm in the night or 4 am in the morning. They will call you to listen to your voice. They will do their due diligence as a sign of care, love and respect because they are afraid to make you feel unwanted. They want to make sure you know he cares about this thing you have with him. He might be the president of United States and he will still give you time. He will make sure to reschedule his appointments in a way that gives him few minutes in a day to talk or text you just to check up on you and make efforts to still be a part of your life. Great love stories aren’t made up of excuses, They are made up of efforts! and that is as clear as daylight.
So you need to stop giving that excuse to yourself draw the line that “He is just not that into you”.
3.The “he has had a bad past so he might be taking it slow” excuse
My dear ladies no amount of emotional turmoil from the past is going to keep a guy away from chasing you and doing crazy gestures to make you feel desired. That is just a truckload of crap!! (excuse my language). Ok, we could give them a small benefit of the doubt that yes bad history can sometimes create barriers in falling vulnerable again and changes the perception of a human being when it comes to love again, but it’s not the case most of the time. There are very few chances of men stopping themselves from falling for the perfect woman in their eyes and not pursuing her! So when he says “oh! I can’t get into a relationship again because the last time I was there I was so broken” it is a LIE. Period. Here’s a tip, always invest only so much of what you are receiving because in the end it is mostly about give and take. Start realising the simple fact “He is just not that into you” (Screaming on top of my voice!!)
So why waste time on one fish, right? Move on sister!!
4. The “well at least he hangs out with me and my friends and that is a healthy sign even though we two don’t go out with each other often” excuse
RED FLAG alert!! (unless he equally hangs out with you alone too). Him hanging out with you and gelling with your friends and refusing to go out with you alone is not a sign that he is into you, it only means he enjoys socialising or maybe he likes to kill time with them because they are a bunch of fun people. If he refuses to hang out with you alone *ting ting ting* can you hear the bell ring and the red flag rising high up in the air? Yup, that’s your cue to take the hint loud and clear. If a guy is really into you he will keep pestering you about meeting you alone and not with the whole paramilitary force surrounding you both, sky dropping and landing in between your conversations (believe me when I say I love you goofballs of friends I really do but seriously that can be so frustrating you idiots!! *argghh rolling eyes, breaking pencil*), and that is because he wants to have some quiet moments with you to get to know you more and trying to enhance the already ignited spark between you two and that can’t happen when your giggling-teasing-nosy friends are around.
Also, a guy, when he is into a woman, would like to have her undivided attention just to himself and not have it divided with anyone else and would also love to give that much attention to the beautiful woman in front of him.
5. The “he has intimacy issues that’s why he won’t sleep with me or get physical with me” excuse
OK ladies, we mostly generalise men as being the hornier of the two genders, statements like “Derek why do you always demand sex every time we meet??”, “why are you always horny when am around you?” are usually from us women to our men, or lines like “not tonight sweetheart, I have a headache” excuses are generally given by us. So when a man refuses to touch you there is a serious problem. You say he is chivalrous enough to wait till you are ready, ok we will give him that, but till when should we keep waiting before he makes a move on you? He might flirt but if he does nothing about it, know your cue and take a run for the hills! You can’t keep giving yourself the fear of intimacy issues everytime he turns over and sleeps off while you are in one of your scantiest lingerie.
So walk out now while you are still hot and happening ladies and find someone out there who will want to ravage you while appreciating your beauty inside out! *wink wink*
6. The “he believes in commitment but not in marriage” excuse
This one is for all those women out there in serious long-term relationships with their “bae”. Even after “X” years of being together he has not gone down on one knee and asked you to be his forever he is just not that into you to jump into the marriage phase. If he still gives you the I don’t believe in marriage excuse or you give that excuse to yourself because he has had a broken family, saw his sister getting divorced or had his best friend killing himself after his divorce, god knows what reasons then it says he is not that into you to change his decisions anytime sooner. If he says he is afraid that this is going to change things between you two and whatever you two have is lovely, what more could we want, do not start settling for what the excuses are because if a man is really into you, no situation will change his feelings for you!
So sit down, self-introspect over a cup of coffee and really think why you keep yourself going through such tough situations when you can go out there and really settle for something that keeps you happy physically, mentally and emotionally without making you have second thoughts about your relationship.
Do you relate to any of these excuses? Have any more points to add? Do let us know in the comment section below: