Let all of us girls stand in honour of the love-hate relationship we share with our periods. Periods are like the necessary evil that won’t leave our sides ever (except for when a baby bump is on its way – a moment of great joy if planned; a moment of greater shock if not!). But when it comes to introducing our partners to this frenemy of ours – really bizarre questions pop up. And trust me, ladies, the stuff is true. So I took it upon myself to answer a few here. Get your man’s ass on the couch, and make him read to clear up his doubts.
Here Are Some Things Which Boyfriends Should Know About Periods:
1. Does it bleed incessantly?
No dumbass! What do you think we have in our bodies, a tankful of blood? It’s not any perennial waterfall. It bleeds during those 3-7 days, at random intervals; and on some days the flow is heavier than on the others.
2. Does it really pain during periods?
Duh! I wish I could say no to this one, but I can’t. It pains like something is churning inside of us, drawing some essential part from within our bodies – which exactly is the case BTW. You can read the whole biology of shredding of the uterus lining here.
3. Every month? Dude, that’s too much!
Ha! Thanks for the insight. Also, no thanks. We have already wasted a lot of our times calculating what portion of our lives we spend bleeding, and we don’t want to do it for you again.
4. Is it weird wearing the sanitary napkins and tampons?
Well, not weird actually; but despite all claims of soft fabric and flowery scents and cushiony pads and what not by manufacturing brands, they ARE uncomfortable. Dryness, itchiness and rashes are common. Obviously, having something stuck up inside our pants, or even worse, literally inside our vaginas is not something we would sign for willingly!
5. So PMS huh! What bird is that? Why does it crank up all you girls?
Well! I would love to put the blame entirely on our stupid hormones. They start jumping up and down in some weird way (and please refer Google for the exact stats) bringing the whole system down (quite literally). So that, my friend leads to the frequent mood swings, hunger pangs, devilish enrage and occasional maniac behaviour.
6. You really feel horny during periods?
Depends. Some girls are always horny, period or no period (Ha! Imagine the happiness of their partners!) Anyway, the thing is, no; not every girl feels sexually charged during periods. It may be the case for some, while some may just be pissed off, so tread carefully. However, science says sex during periods relieves cramps, so. (*wink*)
7. How bad are the period cramps?
Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy bad. Enough said.
8. Ummm, how about sex during periods?
Again, personal choice. Some girls might want to and even enjoy it given the extra active hormones dancing around in their full glory; while some might just lock their partner out the door. But if you go for it, do not miss out on protection. Also, prep up beforehand for the impending bloody mess.
9. What’s with the blue liquid in ads?
I tried to cover the most general ones from my side, to bring you a little closer to this great mystery of MENSTRUATION. If you got more, drop your questions in the comment section.