Love is eternal, it is said. Then why do we see couples breaking up as soon as they hook up? Why is it advocated that first love never lasts? This is an age where people – boys and girls, equally – change their lovers when they find one single aspect to their dislike.
One or both, who are in a relationship, develop certain illusions of love, like –
- Talking on phone for hours,
- Chatting through the night,
- Weekly dates, stolen kisses, secret touches,
- A private luncheon,
- Evening walks by the beach,
- Bike rides, etc.,.
For one moment, they wouldn’t be able to learn the desires and tastes of their lover. Each one wants the other to change for them as time passes by. They start hating particular features of their lover’s character. Fighting ensues – verbal fights. Eventually, they grow apart until one breaks and finally ends the relationship they had for so long.
We’ve had our shares of break-ups and here are a few things telling you what you shouldn’t do in a new relationship. Our views might differ, but the essence shall stay the same.
1. Don’t Be A Tape-Recorder
Especially those in first love, never ever be repetitive. I love you and I miss you are the most misused statements in a relationship. Oh, I forgot Ummmwwaahh! That’s really not advisable. Over time, either the one who says or the one who listens to that statement will get bored. Words won’t have a solid ground until and unless they are driven by actions.
Keep it simple and lovely. Once a day will suffice, not every time you look at each other across the room.
2. Chatting Too Much? Please, No!
Hey, you! The one in a long distance relationship, this rule applies to you, most of all. The start is forever sweet but too much of sweet will give you diabetes. Give your fingers a rest. Particularly, if your lover is a working person, it’s difficult for him/her to be on the phone, WhatsApp-ing you.
Understand that you’re not the only one and chat when your timings suit each other. Do not force your lover to text you when he/she is tired or pressurized. It’ll lead to an easy break-up.
3. Reduce Your Phone Bills
It is perfectly understandable that you’d want to talk to your partner – all day. You’re new to love and you want to know more about your lover. You want to share your personality with them. It’ll be fine as long as you’ve got something to talk about. The listener will break some day, believe me. There are many factors that’ll lead your partner to declare – “I want to breakup with you!” in the most terrifyingly silent way.
Don’t demand calls. If your partner is busy, give them space. Wait till they pack up their business and call you back. If you verbally abuse them for not giving you enough time, they might try, by hook or by crook, to cater to your needs. Remember that they won’t do so forever.
4. Respect Their Love For Pillow
You know what the hardest thing is in a relationship? When you are a true insomniac and your partner is a sleep-lover. I won’t say it’s wrong to want an all-night texting and video calling spree. But when your partner doesn’t like to be a night owl, you shouldn’t force them. Respect their feelings towards their bed and sleep. Allow them to have those lovely seven hours of beauty sleep and your relationship will turn beautiful too!
5. Both Of You Have To Change
Forget all that crap where it is said that one should accept you for who you are. That’s a very wrong notion. It is essential for both of you to strip all your individual skin and grow one together.
There shouldn’t be compromises or adjustments. Only understanding should prevail between couples.
Learn about one another. The questions you ask during that process must give an answer through your actions. Too much change is never appreciated just like too little. Make sure to start from the center and learn where your circle ends during that process.
6. Cut Down Your Loudspeaker Personality
You’ll be successful in giving a blasting headache to your partner if you yell at them every time you fight. Boys, especially, do not like a loudspeaker unless it sings songs for them. If you shout, dear girl, at him for every single thing, the only medicine he’ll be talking is – breakup. Oh, and this applies to boys too, just in case.
7. Don’t Force Your Partner To Bed
I know, young love! No one can control their hormones and when you’re close, your bodies will be screaming for blankets upon their naked skins. A wrong move! Before rushing to it, just know if you are mentally compatible with your lover. It’s a long process so, you should take some time – even if it’s months or years. Your partner should also desire you – physically and emotionally. If you force them, it’ll break you apart.
8. Friends Are Irreplaceable
Family is the first priority to any living person on this Earth. Then come friends. It is said that To love is to let go. You should learn when to hold on and when to let go, precisely. Never at all stop your partner from partying with their friends. Also, never ask or request or force them to text you during the party. It might give you a momentary happiness but your partner will start to grow apart from you.
9. A Date? Take A Gift – Always
Exchanging presents on your first date has become mandatory. Like a norm. I think giving presents each time you meet each other will strengthen your relationship. This is not related to “growing apart” as I’ve spoken up until now. Instead of buying an antique piece, make a greeting, with drawings. Those drawings should represent what you want to do with your partner in the future. The response you’ll receive will be more than just ONE kiss.
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These are a few dont’s in a first love. Have we missed anything? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!