You stole each other’s tiffin, fought over the last piece of pizza and watched TV series with one other. The memorable bunks to watch films and marking your jokes and giggles at every food–joint, is your daily job. When you are away from them, every first thought reminds you of him/her and every last word is about him/her. The one who spoiled you and slapped you to bring you on the right path when needed. I am talking about dumbest, most annoying, partly sweet and fully sour person in your life. Your Best Friend!
When your best friend gets into a relationship, apart from his/her life, even your life changes. A lot of new emotions rush in and even you are expected to understand and accept the unexpected endeavours. Although the changes you go through might be little and unnoticed; little things poke tougher. Change is inevitable, yet beautiful. You can adore this phase only when you accept it and make few more changes. This makes your friend happy and seeing him/her happy, of course you will be content.
Following are the things you need to do when your best friend gets into a relationship:
1. Give some space
You are Avi to your Bunny, Jai to Veeru, Riana to Rahul, Watson to Sherlock, Vardhan to Vindhya (without vardhan (shiva), vindhya would still create an imbalance), Sonu to Titu and Joey to Chandler. You might be inseparable, but there comes a time, you should stop behaving childish and behave wisely. Your friend just fell in love and all s/he can feel is their heart beating for the beloved. They are cherishing their new edition in life and dreaming about future. Give some space. For few days s/he cannot spend time as before, settle for this. After few days, weeks or months things will not be back to normal; they will be much better than before.
2. Your secret box has a new key
That gossip you shared and mischief you did is no more between four (4) ears. There is something you might feel personal and only between you two but it might be shared with some other person. The diary you fill every day has scanned pages passed on to another person. You are hurt, but you need to understand. S/he is your best friends life and has right to know about every layer and deep secrets. Your friend shares about every significant person in his/her life and it includes you. I know the betrayal you feel is wordless, but it indeed is not a betrayal. Your bestie is just madly in love wanting to share every breathe.
3. Stop being possessive
You did not receive the call from past few days. You have no idea about what is happening in your mate’s life. Just like run-of-the-mill, everyone is asking about your best-friends whereabouts and you are answer-less. Even they are shocked to know and this might urge you to break your besties nose; but wait, this is not the end. You need to call that stranger (only to you, coz you might have met just a few days back), to know his location.
Did the worst hit you? Maybe. Maybe not.
Contemplate and wear his/her shoes. If you have the significant other in life whom will you turn to handover your itinerary? Your best friend and significant other are 24X7 together physically, emotionally and virtually. For now, s/he will know more about him/her. Be logical and understand instead of losing your temper. Stop being possessive. Understand her/his importance in your mate’s life.
4. Best friends are not super humans
Believe me! Your bestie is trying very hard to divide the time between family, him/her, career and you. You might need your friend and s/he failed to reach you on time. You might be lonely, contemplating things alone, fighting back tears and fears (First of all this portrays you are too much dependent, which is not healthy anytime); but we get to be vulnerable only with few *I understand*. S/he might be busy in work that is much more important, otherwise, why will your bestie ignore you. You are his/her BEST FRIEND. Calm yourself down, understand that your bestie is no superhuman, and cannot be omnipresent. S/he will come back to you as soon as possible to give a shoulder. At that time, don’t taunt. Live in the present and share.
5. Communicate your piling complaints
High time! You are frustrated. You need some attention and time from your friend. You have a lot to share and very less time with him/her. Don’t hamper your time fighting, which is repelled from hurt, instead, communicate. Let your bestie know, how you feel. In the busy schedule, s/he might not have noticed and there is no wrong in communicating little things. Instead of bottling up, talk, maybe beat red and blue. You will feel better and s/he will start realizing his mistake. Actually, neither of you are at fault. It is just circumstances. You both can sort out things with one hug.
6. Go on a date
Girl wait! Are you just thinking to pick a new dress to meet your one side lover? Don’t! Stay away from that stalker and complete reading this. Go on a date with your friend’s significant other and try understanding her/him. S/he may be sweet and more understanding than your friend. You may have similar tastes and share interests alike. You might be equally crazy too. Cherry on the top, you have a common person to talk around. Listen to her or maybe she will listen to you. Stay open-minded and stop prejudging. You might find a new best friend! *experience speaks*
7. Trio on a spree
Now, you are a good friend of your friends beloved. All you need to do is make plans with your friends i.e., your best friend and the new friend. You three will have a great time and you will not even feel like a third wheel. Just go around the city and visit the places you already visited and make new memories. You will also get used to their new relationship and you being a third party, but still a part of them. The oddness of seeing the surprise angle of bestie will reduce with time. This creates a comfortable space for you three. Your friend has put his/her efforts to bond you three, now it is your turn.
8. Explore the world beyond your bestie
I told you things will get better, but still, they will change. Time gets divided, leaving a little void. Make use of that to hang out with others. He might be your only friend from past few years whom you confide in, now get out! You have a group of friends to hang out, whose meetings you postponed. Re-dial those numbers. Meet your childhood friends. Associate with new groups and celebrate. Maybe watch movies alone to explore the solace in self-time. I am not asking to leave your Chandler, but remember even Joey has Phoebe, Ross, Monica and Rachel. Acknowledge them.
I know you are going through the blank space and cranky thoughts not understanding how to react to the ancillary changes. Once you get through it, you will have a great time as three. Your best friend will stay best friend forever, all you need to do is understand. Don’t let your expectations kill the beautiful bond.
Tag your best-friends and let him/her know what you feel about them being in a relationship. Fill our comment section with your stories.