Difference Between Lady And Woman
There are certain qualities in a guy you can’t seem to miss or overlook. A definite mannerism to him that makes you go gaga on him, his attitude, his personality, what is it? What happens when you notice such qualities in a guy? “Oh my gosh! he was such a gentleman”, “he was such a chivalrous guy”, “God was he charming or what?!”, “How thoughtful of him” etc., His confidence, his poise, his cool composure, his calmness, and his attention to details is what makes him so attractive right? Well, ladies, he has played his cards really well by just being a true gentleman! A man is attractive when he puts a certain standard to his demeanour. So put yourself in a guy’s shoe and think about what would be really attractive in a woman if you were to date her? There is a difference between lady and woman, and you need to know it asap.
If you expect him to be a gentleman then expect yourself to be a lady.
Sometimes paying attention to details can really be an attractive quality!
Ever heard “All girls can become women but not all women can become a lady”?
Now there are certain qualities a woman exhibits apart from being herself that makes her the most desirable by men and women both.
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So this week I bring to you, how to use sophistication to your advantage in the dating world and become a lady from a woman.
The best accessory a lady can carry with grace- Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can own! Carry it with grace and the world is at your feet! Never undermine your ideas, thoughts, speech and your knowledge. You are what you are because you taught yourself to be wise with all the experience you went through in every phase of life. Remember there is always a difference between being confident and being the showy kind of overconfident. Confidence is also the right level of empathy and humility than firing your opinions in an open-ended conversation with guns blazing. Agree to disagree politely. Confidence and wisdom go hand in hand. Having your opinion without forcing it onto others is the cherry on the icing. Being confident is one of the basic characterstics of a true lady.
2. Keep your head, heels and standards high
Ever heard this statement before? If not, now you have! Always make sure your standards never take a dip for the low. This is more to do with not accepting anything lesser than what you deserve. You are worth every effort and investment. If you want him to meet you halfway and make things happen, you have got to let him feel how highly you place yourself and that you will not live on breadcrumbs. Respect your principles, values and schedule! Yes, schedule! You heard me. When you have made up your mind to be somewhere and have given your word, do not throw that away just because the cute guy next door has finally made up his mind to ask you out for a coffee. Your accountability is questionable otherwise.
3. Smile and have impeccable manners
Yes, we have all heard it a million times over now from when we were in kindergarten, always say “thank you” and “please”, but how many of us actually use it? A simple “please” before you ask your co-worker to hand you that stapler lying on his desk and a “thank you” after can have a considerable effect. Try it! If someone has done you a favour that you requested for, send out a nice thank you note.
Say “sorry” for your mistake if you have done something to hurt someone unintentionally. And while you polish your manners never forget to SMILE. It doesn’t cost much to smile, the most graceful thing on your face is your smile.
A genuinely beautiful smile showcases an attractive personality and can woe people. Always remember to make eye contact while conversing, try not to yawn and if you do, excuse yourself, do not make faces when dealing with people even if you don’t fancy them much, and remember to eat with your mouths closed (sounding like a mother much?).
4. Learn the art of conversation
The key to attaining this skill is not only highly regarded but will get you places on the ladder of success. The art of conversation involves more of listening without interrupting, paying attention to smaller details about the other person and placing small key questions when necessary to let them know they have your full focus.
Everybody loves attention and everybody loves sharing their story, especially if you make them feel comfortable talking to you. Make good eye contact, nod when necessary, say yes or no at the right intervals, give your wise opinions when asked for, and lean slightly towards them while listening.
Yes, I know you are itching to ask me “what should I do when the conversation or the person seems to start coming across as boring?”. Well, the most polite way out of this is excusing yourself after a point of time, you will know your cue to exit when the story is about to fade or there comes a point when you can deviate the topic into something more interesting or simply starting with – “hmm well that is quite interesting. I am sure you will find your way out of it and I am sorry to hear that or wow that was a great plan!” and ending with a “I wish I could hear more of it but I must take your leave as I have some things in hand currently that must be looked into or taken care of”. Smile as you say that with a good eye contact, nod, pass your pleasantries and take your exit (piece of cake!).
5. Maintain the right body language and posture
Always have a positive body language and posture whenever you can. Stand straight, walk gracefully, lift your feet instead of dragging them around, keep your chin high, and do not slouch! A hunched back and lazy person is not a good sight. When you look sharp and ready-to-kick-some-doors-down kinds, people take it seriously and will trust on your navigating-the-team skills more.
Remember hands are meant to shake firmly not crushingly (LOL) since they say a lot about your confidence and self-worth. Be very patient and focused on your actions in order to save yourself from knocking over expensive vases and dropping stationary etc. on the floor. (an ironical statement considering the writer is a klutz herself, lol, but I am working on it!) Oh yes, it can get very embarrassing when we knock over something, I know.
Try not to lose it when things don’t seem to go as planned, it can get stressful but not losing your cool and trying to work on the next plan of action instead of worrying over the spilt milk can help you focus more.
6. Speak softly and learn to say “NO” politely. Do not yell or scream just because you cannot get your point across
A wise lady always maintains her composure and peace even in the most havoc of situations, if you do lose your temper and frustration do it in private, nobody has to see the drama and tantrum when you throw pieces of furniture across the room, you do not need that kind of attention (I know that is pretty hard to maintain considering how you want to punch that irritating person standing just a feet away from you, trust me, I KNOW!).
There is a secret to this rule, when a person is calm and utterly composed it can intimidate the person trying to pull you down, it confuses them as to what you may be thinking or why you haven’t responded in a way that is expected, this calm behaviour will throw them out of their comfort zones and will make them think twice before messing with you (win-win situation don’t you think? *wink*) because the probability of “what would happen if?” is always scary only because everyone is terrified of the unknown.
Ever come across those irritatingly calm and composed people who never seem to lose their sh**? and thought, do they ever lose their patience and if they do how do they react? scary to even think right? Yes! you got my point *grin*.
Lastly, when it comes to setting your boundaries on lending favours to others, remember to politely but firmly say ‘NO’.(politely and firmly being the keywords) You know when to draw the line especially if you know they are taking advantage of your kindness or when you know your hands are full and just cannot make an extra room on your plate to help a friend or a colleague in need.
7. Dress for class and style, not for attention
Now, this could be different for different people. Nobody can define your style and what you wear nor can anyone judge you for the way you want to dress up. But dressing that demands attention in a way that perceives a high-value classy woman is what should be portrayed.
Skin or no skin, whatever you wear should speak of your confidence, style and class. Audrey Hepburn could be one example of a classy woman no matter what she wore, from trench coats to scarfs to beautiful sundresses and Marilyn Monroe could be another, for a woman that showed enough skin which could have been perceived quite the sexual queen yet her sexiness always exhibited a classy standard above the rest.
Dress what your heart desires but always keep in mind your classiness is defined by how you carry it off confidently.
The last thing I want to do is be vague for those women looking for a good makeover or a serious advice on what to wear for their next date or social gathering where they want to grab that one person’s attention.
So this part is for those ladies out there who need a tiny bit of help to enhance their personas or just need a friendly girly suggestion. Always carry a clutch when out for an event, wear a darker shade of colours like navy blue, wine red colour, dark green etc for evening events.
Depending on the occasion, if formal, go for a simple body-hugging dresses (short or maxi) that compliments your body in just the right amount (do not wear dresses that are too tight, you want to be able to breathe and enjoy the food without showing signs of food pregnancy! LOL),and do not wear clothes that are too loose, team it up with simple accessories that puts attention only to one place at a time for example your earlobes, neckline, delicate wrists, waist or hair.
Drive attention only to one place without robbing the beauty off your dress. For more casual affair go for a pair of skinny denim, casual shirt or a t-shirt and tuck it in, leave your hair open or tied with a single piece of jewellery which could also be a sexy watch. For mornings always wear solid colours to make a bold statement depending on your skin tone. Oh and ladies, please cross your legs while adorning a beautiful skirt!
a) Always stay well groomed
Your body is indeed your temple, maintaining it does not necessarily mean going under a crash diet to lose weight, instead of making sure you drink enough water to keep your skin hydrated and eating that makes your soul and being both happy. Do not forget to remove that makeup after a night of partying, trust me you do not want to get up looking like a racoon with huge mascara circle around your eyes!
Pamper your skin once a while with cool face masks, always moisturize your skin so it looks well nourished and ladies either paint your nails or do not paint it at all, chipped nail paints are a painful sight to look at, same goes for either keeping your nails long and well filed or cut it short.
There was a quote I read somewhere that said, “smell good or don’t smell at all!”, bad odour can be a big turn off, make sure to keep a tiny roll-on perfume ready to go in your clutch (apply it on key points like wrists, neck or behind your earlobes) and a mint to chew on if the necessity to “kiss” arises!
There is rather a secret to this perfume-in-your-purse drama, use one perfume and make it your signature, so that every time someone mentions about you, the first thing they visualise and remember about you is your distinct fragrance, especially when it comes to men reminiscing about the last time they met you, your attractive scent is going to be playing in their heads (pun intended *wink).
Remember always, makeup is to enhance your beauty, not cover it. Keep your beautiful tussles groomed, skin well nourished and the graceful smile always gleaming.
b) Do things that keep you happy first
It is of utmost importance that you keep your happiness number 1 on the priority list (that is of course not at the expense of someone else’s happiness). Go for walks, dance, do yoga, bake, read books, paint, listen to music, shop, read/write poetry, mix-martial arts, rock climbing, etc., anything that floats your boat, when you get a chance to have some alone time or when it is your relaxation day. The social obligations can wait when it comes to your personal headspace.
We all need time to be with ourselves and have a day just to ourselves so we can breathe and do things that make us refreshed from our day to day hectic lives. Recharging your batteries is a must, a holistic way of healing from stress and workload. The happier you are the more you can give back to the world and those close ones around you.
This keeps you grounded, humble, relaxed, composed and peaceful to be back on track the very next day as a force of nature! Yes, be a force of nature because you all are and sometimes we all like to take breaks from being strong and independent women to being just lazy pampered princesses. And who can pamper you best than yourself? So go ahead indulge in small happiness to be the beauty that you are, inside and out.
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You should never change yourself for others, but who said you can’t use sophistication as a game changer? *wink*
So stay poised, stay sexy, keepin mind the difference between lady and woman and take these qualities of a classy lady until the next post. Oh and sit straight! *chuckle*